8/2 Bockens cottolin
Fall / Winter 2015-2016
3th Paradisaea warp
Teksti suomeksi täällä
The theme for Happy Slumber was born one day when I was putting the Small Kid for a nap when he was still a baby. He was very tired but didn't want to sleep. He fought the sleep, twisting and turning next to me, borderline asleep but not quite - and he was happy. He looked at me with sleepy eyes and smiled. That smile was on his face until he fell asleep.
I stayed next to him for a long time, just enjoying his presence there, his small and warm figure next to me, his breathing, the rosyness of his baby cheeks. I thought about all those moments we spend like that - drifting on the shores of sleep, cuddling close, in a happy slumber. I wanted to create a warp to celebrate those intimate moments and the special bond between a parent and a child.
It's 4:20 AM. Somebody crawls next to me, comes as close as he can. He reaches for my collarbone, falls back to sleep with his hand resting on my neck. I don't dare to move.
On another night he wakes up in the pitch darkness, not knowing where he is, a child with a rising fever. I cradle him in my arms, let him rest on my chest, and there his panic finally melts into sleep. We drift away together, sweet unconsciousness, his dreams becoming mine.
I love the mornings when we don't have to get up. We make a nest in the bedsheets, wander from a slumber to another, bodies close to eachother, a shared body temperature. Hearts beating together.
A sleeping child breathes like a butterfly. I need to lean in, watch closely to see his breast rise and fall. His heart beats like a bird's wing. Sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I cannot go back to sleep because I just want to stare at him. "This is what Aerosmith meant when they sang that they don't want to miss a thing", I think to myself. There's rose and cream in the cheeks of the newborn, his eyelids almost transparent, sleep on his features like pixie dust. He won't let me move 15 centimetres away, so we sleep so that his whole body touches my body, warm as a newly baked bread next to me. Sometimes he smiles in his sleep, often he falls asleep with a smile flashing over his face like a ray of light, lighting me from the inside.
I remember clearly when he was born. His eyes were as dark as a question without an answer, he was made of instincts and the need to stay close, a small bump somewhere under my shirt, skin to skin. We are still somehow parts of the same body even though I don't carry him inside of me anymore.
Newborns are often nocturnal creatures with no clear rhythms. Being a mother or a father means endless nights and days when you are not sure if you are awake or not, facing a tiredness you didn't know existed. It can be exhausting, an almost painful tiredness. A slumber that never ends.
But then there are moments when the slumber is sweet. They are the moments when oxytocin levels carry you to a happiness you have previously never encountered. They are the moments when you fall asleep with a sweet pain - a longing not to lose one moment with your baby. They are moments of liquid love in the middle of night, or the moments in the mornings when the whole room is filled with the sound of a sleeping baby and you cannot believe your happiness. It's the happiness of having someone so close to you it feels like you are the same creature, it's the happiness of being so safe to another human being that they fall asleep in your lap, next to your heartbeat. It's the intoxicating joy that hits you when you understand that right there and then you are the whole universe to the baby; all the love and all the warmth they know.
There are moments of a special kind of slumber - a Happy Slumber.
The warp with this name tells the story of the special moments between mothers, fathers and children:
Two Hearts, One Beat speaks of how the hearts of moms and babies sometimes beat naturally in the same rhythm,
A Song To Sing Your Fear Away speaks of those ancient moments when mothers have sang their children to sleep,
Last Smiles Before Falling Asleep speaks of the happiness of falling asleep with the knowledge of being safe and
Dimples, Tickles, Late-Night Giggles speaks of those moments of happy frolicking when you should be asleep already but there's too much fun to be had and everybody ends up in a happy heap on the living room floor.
Happy Slumber's wraps tell the stories of these happily tired moments, of oxytocin, of breastfeeding half asleep, of little people with messy hair who fit snugly to your lap. They tell the story of safety, of being so loved that it makes your dreams shine, it speaks of the prize parents sometimes get trough enduring the excruciating tiredness.
The warp features blue for the evenings, light green for the first light of the morning, orange for the rays of sun falling on the bedsheets, yellow for the joy of being alive.